Mux039: November 2009

I'm going out of town from Halloween until the 9th, so consider this the official chunk of the Pitchfork 500 month-starting mux. And yes, I legitimately like a Weezer track off Raditude, which is surprisingly better than The Red Album. But there's nothing nearly as good as "Pork And Beans."

But anyways--

Download via drop.io.

1. Broken Social Scene - KC Accidental
2. The Exploding Hearts - Modern Kicks
3. Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To
4. Guided By Voices - Chasing Heather Crazy
5. Les Savy Fav - The Sweat Descends
6. A Place To Bury Strangers - Keep Slipping Away
7. David Byrne and Brian Eno - Strange Overtones
8. Elliott Smith - A Distorted Reality Is Now A Necessity To Be Free
9. The Dismemberment Plan - The Face of The Earth
10. Okkervil River - For Real
11. Smog - Dress Sexy At My Funeral
12. Wilco & Feist - You And I

Movie-Suicide Sunday: Democracy edition

Okay okay okay, I know I missed yesterday's Movie Suicide, but I'm going to make up for it. I'll also be out of town next Sunday, so the glorious return of this immensely popular feature has to be huge. Thus, I propose a vote on the first-ever Movie-Suicide Sunday Double Feature. For those who take pleasure in my own film-snob agony, pick my poison below.

Also, no poll sites are working to make this easier, so you'll just have to comment, which is sort of better so I can see who wants to inflict what sort of misery.

• National Treasure and National Treasure: Book of Secrets
  
• Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
  
• The Boondock Saints and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
  
• The Chronicles of Narnia and The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The Archetype Archive Part 12: Bullet points

• Finished draft 4 and felt really good about it before...
  
• ...realizing there is only one sizable female role, and only one other visible woman who has two lines.
  
• But getting rid of the school subplot really let me hone in on the characters. And, really, that's what a good story is about. Even though, if Transmissions was just characters, Arc has a definite plot thrust. I hope it doesn't confuse people because, shit, I seem to run into that problem all the time. Why can't people piece together the next fifty years of American history based on mentioned-once details in Transmissions and the crumbs I've laid out for Arc?
  
• I finally finished amassing my arsenal of fake guns. To salvage some of the budget the last two ones I bought were Airsoft replicas, and after a coat of glossy spray-paint they look like metal, so all's good... for the two shots they're in, anyway.
  
• Oh, shit, it's time for Parks & Recreation.

Movie-Suicide Sunday: Saw

Late September, 2004: I moved to Chicago when I transferred to Columbia College. Living in the dorms right next to the Red Line and armed with an unlimited transit pass, I took the L everywhere.

Not long into my time there did I happen to notice a new giant ad across the tracks on the far tunnel wall. Ads advertising some presumably-Halloween-related movie called Saw. All us film snobs were quick to point out how it'd be easy to get tangled in discussions about the movie. "I saw Saw." "You saw what?" "Saw." "Saw what?" "Saw Saw." "What?"

Flash forward five years later. Saw VI is about to hit theaters, and, along with such fare like Hostel, the genre known as "torture porn" is pretty reliable year-round but especially in late fall.

And, like any good film snob, I have seen none of these films.

Thus: Suicide-Movie Sunday presents - at the risk of nightmares, heebity-jeebities, and partial post-traumatic stress disorder - the one, the original...

Saw.

Let us begin:

Already I nearly jumped at the flash-cut "LGF" logo.

Funny to think that, as a film from '04, many consider this "old."

Surprised to see, once the lights came on in this Shitty Room, there are two white guys and no ethnicity as proscribed by genre norms.

I know there have probably been countless films like this, but the strangers-locked-in-a-place movie type strangely intrigue me. See also: my obsession with watching all three movies in the Cube series in two days.

I also hate it when there are lines like "This is the first dead body I've seen in real life." That's a sort of impossible statement to make when you're in a movie.

Nerd alert: By the gravel in his voice, it'd be much more interesting if the doctor was played by Solid Snake.

And, like the Cube movies, there's the assumption that they're in the Mysterious Place for a Purpose.

Maybe things have changed so much in five years that I find the movie moving rather slowly given what I expected from its pace. That, or it takes Adam a long fucking time to correctly throw his shirt.

I always love that, in movies, when people rewind tapes, they always find the exact spot they're looking for.

Unrelated: I couldn't swing the Netflix for Sunday, so I downloaded a pirate of this. I'm amazed that the most common torrent for a five-year-old movie is still a watermarked leak from Lions Gate Entertainment that just happens to go black-and-white during said watermark.

For a movie this length, that was an extremely-long flashback/exposition sequence. And now we're back in the Shitty Room... and now we're back in Flashback Land.

Maybe I had this thought all wrong and it's really going to go Reservoir Dogs-style on me and stay in the room and just leave for flashbacks.

Strange that on Netflix's listing for Saw VI, it's semi-marketed as being made by the same editor as the five prior Saw films.

As interesting as this B-line about Danny Glover's Cop Guy, I want to get back in the Shitty Room. I guess this is well-paced, since we just came back to said Room.

Apparently a hospital parking garage can be inside a barn.

Why can't these guys correctly toss stuff around that small room? They always end up tossing stuff in the corner instead of directly to each other.

Ah, a sign of the times being made in '04: Flashback Adam is listening to a CD player instead of an iPod. Then again, this film has strangely made a solid effort to avoid dating itself, so maybe it's just to throw me off the scent.

And like 2/3 Movie Suicides, I've invariably started enjoying this. And, like the Cube series, I might waste a week watching Saw II through V, if only for the sake of completion.

(As for prior parking-lot-in-a-barn comment, it wasn't a hospital, so it's excused.)

There's so much dialog that this would probably make a decent play.

It's 1:22 into the film and I think we're on the fifth climax.

Creative use of stretching the budget: undercranked car-chase shots that don't need to show the road.

Am I a bad person for wanting to see the doctor cut his foot off? Also: Since when can a guy with no foot not hop on one foot? He's just crawling around!

I have to give this credit to this film: the first twist ending I've been genuinely surprised by in a long time. Also: Points for ending on it instead of dragging out some sort of denouement.

Ha! And Netflix thought I'd only give this 1.2 stars!

Mux038: H1N1'd

Cold symptoms plus fever and unusual aches. Might as well assume I have H1N1. I can trace a path, anyway: my mom through her hairdresser through her son. Though neither my mom nor hairdresser has been symptomatic.

So with this garbage and my all-time-high of daily tea-with-honey consumption (combined with, unsuccessfully, trying to blast the symptoms with megadoses of Special K, bananas, and V8 Fusion), I don't exactly feel like listening to the most high-octane stuff around. Thus, after the starting lineup of some GH 5 tunes (invariably), it slows down a bit.

Download it at drop.io.

1. The White Stripes - Blue Orchid
2. Kaiser Chiefs - Never Miss A Beat
3. The Sword - Maiden, Mother and Crone
4. M83 - Don't Save Us From The Flames
5. Dizzee Rascal - Holiday
6. No Age - Aim At The Airport
7. Panda Bear - I'm Not
8. Los Campesinos! - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think About The Future
9. The Mountain Goats - No Children
10. WHY? - Berkeley By Hearseback
11. Atlas Sound - Quick Canal

The Archetype Archive Part 11: The Script, Casting, and Money

While last update I wrote about the two-month delay, it's not like Arc is just sitting idly on my hard drive. I've been honing the script to be like the tip of a spear. Or something. I'm working on it every day, and my final-draft deadline is November 13. There's actually a sizable subplot that is pending, well, cancellation (for lack of a better term) because of access to some locations I'd actually need permitted access to. Everything else requires only harmless trespassing.

But in random casting news, I've officially cast a good friend of mine, Justin Cecka, for a role. Sorry to all you secret stalkers/acting prospects who've been waiting for me to get the audition process underway, but the part was already earmarked for the person it's based on in Real Life, but because he's moving out west for the shoot, Justin was my instinctive second choice. I guess it doesn't really "count," per se, since he's a friend, but whatever, he's in the cast and it's always nice to make concrete decisions about the film. It's not a huge part, but it requires some chemistry with the main character (played by myself), so knowing Justin so long will make that connection pretty effortless.

In randomer news, it's no state secret that my character, Ridley Kraid, is ex-military, and I've bought all the accessories: an authentic Army ACU with name, rank, and unit patches; combat boots; and even a set of custom dog tags that I've been wearing 24/7 to get a taste of... something. I've field-tested the boots to get some good scuffs on them, but the uniform is still pretty fresh. Though it's cold as hell outside right now, it's pretty wet and muddy, and I think I might low-crawl around my backyard to get it nice and dirtied up.

Also, I'm seeing the light at the end of the money-spending tunnel. I just need to buy a $6000 camera and then the rest (a few "costumes" and food, mostly) shouldn't total over a grand. I can probably pay off this film over about two years barring myself winning the lottery. Not bad considering that Coppola, just recently, finished paying off Apocalypse Now.

Thoughts on movies posted elsewhere / Favorite songs of 2009 (thus far)

Over at borderline-pretentious art-blog Dinca, where I'm known to keep it real by reviewing popular movies, I've posted my thoughts on Drag Me To Hell and Where The Wild Things Are.

Here are also my favorite songs of 2009 thus far. I say "thus far" because already I'd add Brother Ali's "Crown Jewels" and that one Atlas Sound track to the mix, and I axed a bunch of songs just to fit it on a CD; I might have to pull a Luke Adams and make separate mixes for favorite rock, hip-hop, and electro just so everything gets fair play. Also, I won't bother with the tracklist, so pretend the surprise is a feature and not a glitch.

Movie-Suicide Sunday, Tuesday Bonus Round: Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!

No introduction required. As always, presented in stream-of-blogishness (TM) form.

Let us begin:

At my sister's house. She's contemplating canceling a date with a friend in order to witness my viewing of said movie; or she just wants to watch it again.

The Dreamworks logo is accompanied by a wicked bassline and some synths. The movie proper has yet to begin and already I am terrified.

I think this movie is from '03 or '04, so the rad opening music might've fulfilled the HIPSTER ALERT quota. Also: One point against for an overelaborate title sequence. Start the goddamn movie already. These days, this just comes off as an undergrad's final project in After Effects class.

Again, always terrifying that this was shot by an ASC. You have to get invited into that org.

I see I will be playing the part of Topher Grace during this particular Suicide, e.g. with regards to snark.

One point in favor: portraying movie stars as assholes. At least for a minute.

Coupled with the film's title, the inciting incident has occurred a mere three minutes into the movie.

I also cringe at the thought of how much those helicopter shots costs. Maybe they have stock shots of randomish smallish towns somewhere instead of having to go through the logistics and expense of getting them when, really, do they establish the setting any better than an operator and a camera on sticks?

Oh, fake internet in movies.

Topher Grace's heartlessness shattered with a single music cue. Impressive.

Point for: I have never witnessed a gag of someone confusing an Albanian housekeeper with a Hispanic one.

Aside: What happened to Topher Grace?

Surprising to basically not establish that said date with said Tad Hamilton other than some scene of random fan-jumping.

Refreshing to have a movie portray LA as a foreign country. Example: the driving-to-the-hotel montage featuring the $9 roadside lemonade stand. (Postscript: Given the averageness of everything else, I think that was the handiwork of an uncredited script doctor.)

Who doesn't wear an undershirt under a dress shirt? According to this movie: Tad Hamilton.

The guy playing Tad Hamilton looks like a young George Clooney. But George Clooney can look like a young George Clooney if need be.

At least the vomit gag was offscreen.

And here we have the theme, not exactly understated: Small-town common sense trumps Hollywood garbage-thinking.

Also: Forget the fact that Topher Grace's romance is all but completely unfounded.

It's only twenty-five minutes into the movie but it feels like it could already be over.

And just like that, Tad Hamilton reappears. I guess the movie isn't over. Well, it would be if Topher Grace wasn't involved. I guess this has an hour to resolve itself, and I have a feeling it will. Over the course of an hour.

And how exactly has Rosalee shown to Tad Hamilton that she's worth going to West Virginia for? Other than the fact that this is a movie and it has to happen.

My sister said she has a drinking game with a friend that involves taking one drink for someone saying "Tad," another for "Hamilton," and two drinks for "Tad Hamilton." By this point, if someone has followed the rules of said drinking game, their blood would have been replaced by alcohol. And they would be dead. Because of this movie.

Unlike the past two movie Suicides, this one is quickly going downhill. I think it's because the last two entries were either thematically or morally bankrupt, which makes them somehow watchable, and when something like this half-assedly is sincere, it flatlines.

Don't tell my sister, but I'm going to check my e-mail. And my Twitter. And Facebook. And maybe read kottke.org for the next forty-five minutes.

And I'm back. And now Tad Hamilton owns a farm.

I'm still watching, by the way. Only a half hour left to endure. Both Rusty and Ely are asleep. I feel like following their example.

Whereas Twilight was pure cheese and Step Brothers riffed on screenplays hitting story and act marks, this one doggedly follows a formula to the extent of boredom for anyone who have seen a movie remotely similar. Case in point: bad quotes like "Everyone is Tad Hamilton to someone."

A long time ago, I promised my sister I'd write a romantic comedy. If this movie qualifies, I don't know if I want to tread in that water. I could probably dig out my notes from Screenwriting II and get it over with, or I could make films like Transmissions and Archetype that reflects my current life-is-a-black-hole-of-blackness worldview.

I'm trying to figure that if the runtime is 1 hr., 37 mins., how much of that time is devoted to end credits. They're standing on some tarmac and it'd be a great time for Topher Grace to race up, so we'll see...

...and there goes the aircraft door. I guess Topher Grace will have to chase Rosalee down to Los Angeles.

So now the movie is floating along by dictating emotions through music. I'm not sure if it's laziness or convention. I try to avoid these sort of movies.

And of course, the great reconciliation has to happen in the rain. I'm sure the raincoat-clad PAs loved supplying the effect. Oh but snap he's not there. Not that I've emotionally re-invested in the movie.

Oh no, a retread of an earlier speech in the movie (the "number of smiles" bit) to attempt to come full circle. And then the film bookends and all the teenage girls swoon. (And all their boyfriends hope taking them to said movie gets them laid.)

And just like that, I survived the first Suicide movie that I didn't inadvertantly enjoy. We'll have to do this again sometime.

Movie-Suicide Sunday: Step Brothers

Every time I watch a movie, I learn something. Whether the movie in question is either good or bad, some lesson can be learned; oftentimes, a more valuable lessons arises from a particularly-bad movie, so that I can gauge its badness and avoid said badness in writing scripts and filmmaking.

So sometimes, I feel the need to subject myself to something not just bad, but something I have a feeling I will hate.

Thus: Movie-Suicide Sundays, presented in stream-of-blogishness (TM) form.

Today's victim: Step Brothers.

Let us begin:

Movies that start with a quote: automatic point against.

Hey, it looks like Where The Wild Things Are ripped off this movie's fonts.

HIPSTER ALERT: Am I supposed to like this for the immediate playing of "A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend?

And why can't any movie with Guitar Hero not feature a guitar shamelessly labeled with GUITAR HERO stickers.

I think this movie just broke a record for having the inciting incident just after the three-minute mark. Case in point: "A-Punk," such a short song, has to be looped.

Will Ferrell: Still getting work for his "humor" of shouting really loud. I just wonder when he's going to take off his shirt. (Postnote: And he co-wrote the screenplay!)

I don't know where this fits in the chronology, but Richard Jenkins is really slumming it here after his excellent work in The Visitor.

Close enough (to paragraph before last paragraph): John C. Reilly in his underwear.

Not sure how I feel about a seeing-eye-dog joke. Is that kosher now?

HIPSTER ALERT #2: "North American Scum" by LCD Soundsystem... for thirty seconds. I could just make a mixtape instead of watch this movie.

Guilty pleasure of smirking just slightly at the "fancy sauce" bit.

The problem with these sort of films are that nearly everyone involved is over-talented and overqualified and is really slumming it here... at least to make $30 million opening weekend (lucky guess!) for the 17-year-old target demographic.

Related: Wow. I don't think I've seen a scrotum, real or fake, in a movie ever.

Oh, shit, a second inciting incident: They have to get jobs. Who saw that coming?

Points for the most elaborate sleepwalking sequence ever. Also: Couch pillows in the oven. Maybe I'm not as removed from being 17 as I wish.

Related: I've never heard an a-capella version of "Sweet Child O' Mine" before. That makes up for $0 I'm spending to instant-watch this on Netflix. Another guilty admission: I rewatched that scene.

Oh god, like Twilight, this is not a total waste of time. For example: "Like masturbating in a time machine," and, "You know what really gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends."

I don't think I've seen a body double for a six-pack.

I suppose it's a nice self-conscious montage of them instantly becoming best friends. Especially when "karate in the garage" means "kicking pumpkins."

As with anything with Judd Apatow's name within a mile of the project, there's the obligatory Seth Rogen cameo.

I think twenty years from now these movies will be lumped under some misunderstood-as-not-brilliant post-post-post-modern films that riff on the ridiculousness of rigid adherence to script format and hitting certain plot and act markers.

Shakespeare used to throw in lines for the groundlings. This whole movie is for the groundlings. But sometimes I feel like being a groundling. I'm reminded of my groundlingness when I laugh at a Chewbacca mask.

Also: impersonating Nazis and KKK klansmen.

I don't think I've seen an iris-out transition in sixty years.

I feel bad for the PAs who had to clean up the dozens of messes deliberately made in this movie.

And the trifecta: sex jokes, fart jokes, and, finally, a vomit joke.

I think this movie is on its tenth plot line. I don't think it could survive as something watchable if it wasn't so inconsistent.

And the movie ends the only way it can: beating up children with a John Woo dove homage.

Mux037: Winter In October

Most Minnesotans woke up to snow on the ground this morning. I don't think I've ever had to brush snow off my car in October, but today it happened.

So I guess the Mux subtitle isn't that appropriate. After all, "My Girls" by Animal Collective is very much a non-winter song. But whatever they have a dark EP coming out and I can't pretend enough how much I don't care.

Download this here mix at drop.io.

Tracks:
1. Japandroids - No Allegiance To The Queen
2. No Age - Eraser
3. McLusky - To Hell With Good Intentions
4. The Rural Alberta Advantage - Frank, AB
5. Brother Ali - Crown Jewel
6. Animal Collective - My Girls
7. Passion Pit - Sleepy Head
8. Band of Horses - The Funeral
9. WHY? - The Vowels Pt. 2
10. Radiohead - Morning Bell

Re: Niagara (e.g. The Office Wedding)

No time to write my legendary thousands-of-words essays on last night's Office. So let's just cut to the chase and Eastwood that shit:

The Good:

• Parks & Recreation is now officially funnier than The Office.
  
• Freeze-frame moment: On the "Do" and "Don't" board, under "Don't" is "Talk to our families - VERY BUSY!"
  
• Dwight's binder of useless online information.
  
• Dwight's luggage is an Army surplus rucksack.
  
• It seems that Stanley is now on his third marriage.
  
• Dwight relegated to the kids' table.
  
• Jim blowing the news about the pregnancy, then saying to Michael, "Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?"
  
• Dwight's "suggestive" wolf shirt.
  
• Dwight getting a hook-up.
  
• The episode's tag implying Michael hooking up with Pam's mom. I hope there are slight repercussions next episodes.

The Bad:

• Season three already had a wedding episode.
  
• The writing credits for this episode list Mindy Kaling and Greg Daniels. Daniels moved on to Parks & Recreation, so that begs the question if this episode was written a while ago and just kept in the oven until now?
  
• Erin becoming Kelly's clone.
  
• Pam's mom, however briefly, was shown in season 2 episode Sexual Harassment, and now she has returned in a recast, sluttier version.
  
• Jim's brothers were introduced last season, but now they're basically twin Michael Scotts. Also, to my knowledge, Pam has never, ever mentioned having a sister. How convenient.

The Ugly:

• Waiting six years for a cold open with a vomit gag.
  
• Michael asleep while driving. Way too similar to his in-car nightmare in the season five episode when he and Daryl moved Holly to Nashua.
  
• Dancing down the aisle. Seriously? And having pretty much just the workers of the Scranton office do that instead of everyone else? And, after everyone has had their individual dance, have them all do a combined group dance? Maybe I missed the YouTube video this is riffing on. It's like Cafe Disco all over again (especially considering Andy is involved in a second dance-off); are we just supposed to blindly love the show and characters so much that it should feel rewarding to watch them dance? If Jump The Shark hadn't been bought out by TV Guide, this is the sort of huge Red Flag of shark-jumping. The problem with The Office is that it keeps jumping back and forth over said shark.
  
• Where do we go from here? Yeah, the season finale will be The Baby, but this basically ends a six year arc. The show had some growing pains in season four when Pam and Jim finally got together, segueing into a weird Dwight-Angela, Andy-Angela line, and then a Michael-Holly line that, according to Michael's talking head at the end of season five, is set to basically mimic the Jim-Pam storyline. I wonder how many season they can milk that for.

Fuck Buttons - Tarot Sport (Gapless)

Not playing favorites. Cobbled together a gapless version of Tarot Sport just now. I won't even bother with the tracks, since I don't even know their names.

Fuck Buttons - Street Horrrsing (Gapless)

I love Fuck Buttons' new album Tarot Sport. I've listened to it in my car probably about ten times.

However, it is no Street Horrrsing. Not that one is superior than the other. In contrast to, say, A Place To Bury Strangers' Exploding Head versus their self-titled (in which their sophomore album is basically a sonically-identical improvement), Tarot Sport covers a lot of new ground. Namely, most of it has a beat, and it's not too crazy to not dance to. There's also a definite lack of background-screaming vocals.

So while Tarot Sport is a fully enjoyable, seamless Fuck Buttons follow-up that charts new aural territory, it can peacefully coexist with their debut Street Horrrsing, which is still the same peyote vision-quest it's always been.

However, I've had an epic struggle with the album since I first heard it. Specifically, I've never found tracks that fulfill iTunes' mysterious criteria for gapless playback. That feature was invented for anal-retentive listeners such as myself. And for the life of me, after endless Soulseeking and BitTorrenting, I've never found a perfect, seamless Street Horrrsing, and those little half-second pauses between tracks always threw me off.

So, like most things that no one else either wants or needs, I have taken matters into my own hands.

A little time in GarageBand has now yielded the definitive Street Horrrsing listen. One track, absolutely no breaks whatever, with perfect transitions between all tracks. Download that bad boy over at drop.io if you crave the same kind of experience as I.

Tracks (though my mix is simply one track):

1. Sweet Love for Planet Earth
2. Ribs Out
3. Okay, Let's Talk About Magic
4. Race You to My Bedroom / Spirit Rise
5. Bright Tomorrow
6. Colours Move

Movie-Suicide Sunday: Twilight

Every once in a while, I realize that some movies make enormous amounts of money despite me totally hating them or, in most cases, player-hating them sight unseen. Because, really, how hard is it for a studio to make a $50 million film, blanket-market that hell out of it for another $10 million, then make back all the money in three weekends despite abysmal critical reviews?

Such is the case for Twilight, which is one of those delicious films considered critic-proof: consider the rabid fanbase of the book and the target democratic of teenage girls. They don't give a shit what A.O. Scott or Roger Ebert thinks of the movie. (Oh wait, the film's 58% rating on Rotten Tomatoes isn't that bad.)

So I will subject myself to Twilight. I will watch it in its entirety. And I will supplement said watching with stream-of-blogishness notes that will probably fulfill your daily quota of snark.

So--

Let us begin:

Already: Rated PG-13 for "a scene of sensuality." That won't feel creepy at all.

One negative point: Starting with voice-over narration. All of which could be done without!

Another unfair advantage of these sort of things: Any film with half a budget can get an ASC to make any shlock look pretty. See also: Air Bud. But a counterpoint: Some DI colorist gets overzealous and dumps a bucket of chemicals on the negative. Here, everything is dyed cyan.

Ah, the old high-schools-in-movie trope: Kids constantly hanging outside. I guess I've never seen a high-school movie in Minnesota, where it's usually far too cold to linger outside during half the school year. Also: Kids being pretty much omniscient with regards to every other kid at the school.

Whoa, main character, Justin Timberlake called: He wants his plastic face-mask back. I almost didn't recognize him from his shitty-haired appearance on Leno. And I didn't know a way to possibly signify interest between characters is to have one bear the expression of looking like he's going to vomit the whole time.

I guess I should give credit for a high-school movie having a cast comprised of people who at least look like they're of high-school age.

A random problem I have with these sort of mass-market movies: They're not bad enough to stop watching, but not good enough to pass up in favor of something else. It's like watching TV.

And the inevitable scene where the new girl completely spills her personal life to a relative stranger.

And also the vampire-movie trope that the vampires clearly look different than everyone else but they are magically above suspicion.

Strange how I know nothing about the books, but it's now a bit painful to see the stilted, stiff relation between the two leads, just counting down until they hook up or whatever with a bunch of bad dialog.

I feel bad for the filmmakers or, specifically, the location sound mixer for all these windy, wet, rainy scenes. You can pinpoint the ADR with hands over your ears.

Oh, shit, my oh-my-gawd-this-movie-doesn't-suck disbelief-suspension on hold because of the worst costumed, sepia-toned, Avid-effect flashback. And also the first terrible visible vampire attack on the boat guy.

Without being extremely creepy (credibility voided), hearing "it makes my boobs look good" in the prom-dress-buying scene is refreshing to hear in a high-school movie. After all, every other movie just assumes the whole prom = sex thing without making a valid statement about youth. (For that done properly, see also: Fast Times At Ridgemont High.)

Some really bad wacky-cam for the "Hey, you're a vampire!" scene. Just like Lord of the Rings. Then countered by a ridiculous fast-running scene and a shakily-directed "Look how strong I am!" scene. The film, thus far, succeeds at showing semi-average teenage life, but introducing proper the supernatural puts it in uncertain territory.

And, wait a second, they're in love now? And was that random pan of trees and flowers supposed to suggest they had a bunch of sex in a creepy forest?

I'm not sure whether it was a good decision or bad to save an enormous amount of tempo-derailing exposition for the middle of the movie.

PG-13 look out they're kissing. Then a segue into a montage that reveals, if anything, the fundamental flaw of the movie: inconsistency. Inconsistency in editing and cinematography; for the latter, specifically, would be camera work. There are traditional scenes combined with bad canted-angle stuff, floaty-cam (a drunk steadicam operator?), and unmotivated camera-speed changes. One could be attributed to a bad second-unit cinematographer, but since I'm in no rush to see if there's an issue of American Cinematographer on Twilight, I'll leave it up to my imagination.

And even more inconsistency: vampire baseball. Followed by, obviously, a vampire showdown culminating in a bad West Side Story-style pose-off.

Another derailment by a momentary elevation of the staying-with-dad B-storyline.

Now comes a rather strange fork: going from a decent teenager-in-a-new-school story to a superhero-vampire mishmash.

The cyan shift doesn't work on the shift back to Phoenix. Especially when it cuts back and forth between the omnipresent cyan dye and a few exteriors with warm colors.

And then: the return of the voice-over with thirty minutes left. It would've been excusable as a bookend, but now it just seems pointlessly out of place.

Followed by a showdown in the most stereotypical setting for a climax: a room with a lot of mirrors, glass, and wood to shatter and splinter.

Times like this I always cringe when I see someone wake up in a hospital bed. These days, I can't help but think if they're insured and how much the hospital bills would cost. And, naturally, no one wants to see a movie with that because that's what people have to deal with in non-movie life.

And the final high-school-movie trope: a prom that would cost some hundreds of thousands of dollars that no high school would be able to afford.

And for whatever reason, it ends with "15 Step"?!

I guess the decent cinematography can be explained: it was done by Elliot Davis, whose best work was done with Steven Soderbergh in Out of Sight.

So, the verdict: A cinematically-bankrupt movie salvaged by the Hollywood solution of throwing a bunch of money and scraping together enough talent to make two hours pass by harmlessly enough. Sure, I could sit through a boring-but-educational Criterion movie for an alternate two hours, or, hell, now that I think of it, rewatch Out of Sight. But here's another case, like Air Bud, that, as resident film snob, I have to eat some crow and say, gee, it wasn't that bad.

Mux035: Sleepy and Mux036: October 2009

Fell a little behind and didn't even bother to post the last Mux in addition to the new:

Download Mux035: Sleepy at drop.io.

1. Black Moth Super Rainbow - Jump Into My Mouth & Breathe The Stardust
2. Radiohead - Pyramid Song
3. Califone - The Orchirds
4. The Shins - New Slang
5. Aphex Twin - Nanou 2
6. Modest Mouse - Dramamine
7. Zwan - Number of the Beast (Acoustic)
8. Dntel - (This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan

And for a bit more uptempo, stacked-at-the-front Mux:

Download Mux036: October 2009 at drop.io.

1. Japandroids - The Boys Are Leaving Town
2. Elliott Smith - LA
3. The New Pornographers - The Bleeding Heart Show
4. Spoon - The Way We Get By
5. The Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drum (Remastered)
6. Animal Collective - Unsolved Mysteries
7. Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
8. A Place To Bury Strangers - I Lived My Life To Stand In The Shadow of Your Heart
9. Bibio - Kaini Industries (Boards of Canada cover)
10. The Clientele - Since K Got Over Me
11. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - American Girl
12. Memory Tapes - Plain Material

JDK on Vacation: A list

• 7:57 a.m. wakeups
  
• Listening to old Muxes
  
• Listening to a giant, supposed-to-last-two-days rainstorm
  
• Filling out forms
  
• Writing a companion novella to Archetype that's primarily about Rid's dad, John Kraid
  
• Convincing myself that "In Violet" by HEALTH is the best song of the year
  
• AV Club crosswords
  
• Breaking in a pair of, god forbid, jeans
  
• Planning to go to the West Bank Social Center's Friday rent party wearing a suit
  
• Sort of wanting to play Guitar Hero but not because I lent it to a friend
  
• Making great cups of coffee
  
• Scouring the house for a good lamp on my endtable next to my desk
  
• Waiting for The Road to come out so I can see it and probably be disappointed with what I've heard is an overdramatic score
  
• Getting the idea for the best MNKINO film ever
  
• Not giving a shit about the Vikings or Twins
  
• Intermittent H1N1 concerns
  
• Really wanting to marathon seasons 1-5 of The Wire if I owned them all
  
• Big, elaborate lunches
  
• Listening to The Beatles' catalog and liking probably about 42% of it
  
• Kind of honestly wondering how I blew it but trying to not let it get to me, hoping the WHY? show makes it right
  
• As little lawn-mowing as possible
  
• In another phase of thinking Weezer's "The Good Life" is my personal theme song
  
• Special K
  
• Thinking I should take up painting
  
• Thinking I should buy a drum kit and finish the EP, considering I already have the beats in my head
  
• Mentally scoring Ages and the trailer to Triumvirate
  
• Trying not to draw parallels between Kraid's arc in Archetype and me, right now
  
• Diet Coke
  
• Pressing old movie posters
  
• Wondering when the hell a Tree of Life trailer will hit
  
• Etc.