The Year of Archetype: Day 30

Obligatory repeat of a tweet: The prospective Day -2 has been scrubbed because the actress involved is sick. And, for once in the history of Arc-related delays, I'm not worried. I am still shooting tomorrow, and I'll try to reschedule today (which probably will/would've only take[n] two hours or less) for a weekday before Day 1 proper on February 6. It's also for some footage that doesn't happen until later in the film. I planned it only because I wanted to wade out of the paperwork swamp. But I've already shot two shots, and tomorrow I'll shoot more.

I feel like an athlete in training. It's almost a sort of fear to spend a day without doing something related to the film. Given I overprepared, I'm spacing out what little I have to do over the next week. But I'm afraid of getting soft; of losing focus; of losing drive. I've talked about the tunnel vision of filmmaking before, and I need to keep it and not look back.

I've probably also mentioned the surreality of it all. Archetype will probably be made. This comes after six months of it being just an idea rattling around in my head, and a shot list, and some logistics to pin down, and something abstract to explain at auditions. And, like most majors things in my life - changing schools, moving to Chicago, graduating college - I always think I'm supposed to feel hugely different, and I never do. It's like the feeling when you're somewhere far away on vacation, just doing something normal, just walking around, and forcing yourself to attach some false gravity to it.

If I made Arc, mentally, into being as huge as its own ambition, I wouldn't be able to make it. Like how - like any film - I had to break it down from a boulder into pebbles to simply get a grasp of things I could do every day that, over time, would reconstitute a whole.

So yes, I'm not shooting today, and I'm fine with that. I'm shooting tomorrow, anyway, and a week from today is Day 1 of the shoot proper.